This week’s three hour RAW starts with a promo for this week‘s three hour RAW! They talk about the Slammy Awards and what a great year it’s been.

Music and pyro.

They talk about the Tournament for Superstar of The Year!

Justin announce Dennis Miller with all his accolades. Out to the Slammy podium comes Miller. He’s glad to be there and wish he had a heads up on the pyro as he’s now half deaf and borderline incontinent. He talks about reading about children from single parent homes having better verbal skills than from double parent homes, but those children are better at bitter repartee. He bombed with that and said he’d get back to the script which gave him more cheers. He said a lot went into the show tonight, the work crew were in sandblasting the cod pieces to give it that high sheen needed for Monday nights. He always wanted to do this. When covering politics he realized how similar politicians and WWE is. Both have loud obnoxious women with power who’s faces scare little children. He shows a pic of Pelosi, next to Vicki screaming her head off. He comments when DX were recovering giving way to temporary replacements – pic of DX posting but it’s Bush and Cheney’s faces. Miller is bombing! He goes off about global warming not being real. He has it on good authority that Cheney wears the chaps when alone. He then goes on to the ‘golden boys’ and shows Obama and Cena. Huge heat for this. One of these two men where put through a table and the other hasn’t brought anything to one. Regardless of political leanings he’s with the WWE for their help with the Troops. He talks about usacares.org. He talks up the troops in a beautiful way. This got him some serious pop for the first time. He calls out R-Truth and Jillian to present the first Slammy.

They come out, Jillian in a beautiful black gown. She talks about how one of them are such good singers, so she starts singing Whoop, There It Is. He says Whoop, There It Ain’t! he changes his lyrics to Shut, Up! The nominees are – DX, Legacy, Hart Dynasty and Jeri-Show. Jillian announces the Slammy goes to Jeri-Show! They come out in all black, but formally dressed. Both in three piece suits. They get heat and Jericho says they were expecting someone else. He says he can feign surprise but he knows they’re the best tag team ever. He wants to thank two people. Edge for being cowardly enough to be hurt and relinquish his half. And to thank himself for choosing Big Show as his new partner. Big Show says the mic was made for shorter people, sorry to Jericho. Despite what happened last night they will retain, he looks at Jericho who says regain. Big Show says he’s the smart one, they will regain their titles. Jericho says they’re invoking their rematch clause, tonight. They’ll prove to be the best tag team in history.

King, Cole and Striker are all on announce. They show stills from the match between Cena and Sheamus last night. That Sheamus put Cena through the table to win. They talk more about the Superstar of The Year.

– Commercial

Regal, Kozlov, and Jackson are in the ring. Video from ECW last week. Regal on mic says despite what happened last week they’re all on the same page now. He challenges Christian to find two partners to go against them tonight. Christian comes out, limping. Regal rips on him and wants to know who’s tagging with him tonight, but can’t find anyone to compete with them. Christian says he’s found two guys who can handle his monsters. They’ve put their differences aside to annihilate the three of them. Out comes Khali and Kane! The three of them down to the ring and in.

Kozlov and Khali start. Khali grabs his leg and slams him back. Front facelock on Kozlov, but when he’s out Kozlov into a big boot. “Khali” chants. Jackson in and Christian tags in. Christian flies onto Jackson and takes him down for two. Cheap shot on Regal and then Jackson in charge. Regal hard on Christian with knee to the gut them gets him up top. Christian comes off with an elbow. Kane tags in and clotheslines Regal in a corner. Side slam to Regal and Kane climbs. Flying clothesline on Regal but Kozlov breaks the count. Jackson tags in and tries to work on Kane but then Kozlov takes a blind tag pissing off Jackson. Kozlov runs into a big boot. Khali tags in and chops the top of Kozlov’s head for three.

– Winners: Christian, Kane & Khali

They celebrate while the heels roll from the ring. Video of Kozlov stealing the tag for the loss.

Miller out to the podium. He introduces Tiffany and Long to announce Breakout Superstar of The Year. Tiffany’s is in a strapless red satin dress. She says they decided to present this because it’s so important. Everyone in this category burst onto the scene in 2009 and haven’t looked back. The nominees are Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Yoshi Tatsu and Abraham Washington. Tiffany announces the winner to be Sheamus. He comes out with the belt around his waist and is pumped. He takes it from Long and gives a perfunctory handshake. Huge heat for him. He says he supposes they take him seriously now? Does Cena take him seriously? Does he still think he’s a footnote in WWE history. He put Cena through a table and took his title. So many HOF couldn’t do what he did last night, so he must be better than them. “You suck” chants for Sheamus. He tells Cena he’s never getting the title back.

– Commercial

King, Cole and Striker talk up Sheamus and Cena. Striker says to look at the other nominees for Superstar of The Year, other than Cena. Punk, Taker and Orton. They then talk about the Tournament.

Cody comes out to Legacy music. Kofi out to face him.

“Kofi” chants. Cody backs Kofi into a corner. Clean break. Side headlock on Cody. Shoulder block on Cody with his bandaged shoulder. Cody misses a knee drop. Dropkick to Cody then flying clothesline. Moon drop on Cody but then Ted’s in and on Kofi. Evan out to make the save and Legacy flee the ring. Miller says this match has been reset as a tag team match. Kofi and Evan fly out onto Ted and Cody.

– Commercial

Armlock on Kofi by Ted. During the break Legacy took control by slamming Kofi into the ring post shoulder first to that bad shoulder. Cody tags in. Ted holds Kofi so Cody can come off the corner onto that shoulder. Ted back in for the cover for two. Arm flip and then kick to Kofi’s shoulder. Cody tags in and works on that shoulder then tags in Ted. “Kofi” chants. Back body drop to Ted and both tag out. Hurricanrana on Cody and then dropkick to Cody. Evan then rides Cody down but Ted breaks the pin. Kofi takes Ted from the ring. Evan in control, but Cody grabs him and hits his finisher for three.

– Winner: Legacy

Kofi in to check on Evan. Video of the end of the match.Ted and Cody laugh their way around the ring as they leave.

– Commercial

Miller is out and apologizes and says that no one told him all you had to do is say suck it and be a genius here. He refers to Vicki as looking like octomom and announces her and Santino. She’s in a black dress and he has moustache extenders drawn down his face with some sort of marker, eyeliner or something. He’s all giggles walking out behind her. Mostly heat and all for Vickie. She says through the course of WWE there’s been moments that left audiences speechless. Like her return to SD! Santino says what even more shocking is she stopped eating her deep fried pork quesadillas do come out there. The fans love him! That funny because Vicki is, ah, slightly over weight. She glares at him. He says the nominees for Shocker of The Year are Orton attacking Steph in front of HHH, Batista trashing Rey, Punk retires Jeff Hardy, Sheamus put Cuban through a table. Vicki says the winner is Punk defeating Hardy. Punk out all happy. He kisses Vicki and rips the trophy out of Santino’s hands. He holds it high.

– Commercial

Punk is in the ring with his trophy. He says he had a list of people to thank, but the people there wouldn’t be respectful enough to stay quiet and listen. He wants to thank himself. Without him this great year he had wouldn’t have been possible. He won MITB for the second year in a row and became WHC twice. He’s the only one with the courage to stand in front of them and tell them that their throwing their lives away. He speaks the truth and doesn’t care if it’s not what they want to hear. His crowning achievement is getting rid of Hardy. Now he’s the first straight edge Slammy winner. He should go on and become the first straight edge Superstar of the Year. Cena out to face Punk in the Tournament.

They lock up and Cena gets a side headlock on Punk. Shoulder block on Punk. Punk covers Cena for two. Cena whipped and then a high knee in the corner, Punk covers for two. “Cena” chants. Striker says King’s won and lost more titles than anyone there, how do you get past it. King says you have to have a short memory and move on. Punk gets Cena up but Cena reverses into the STF. Punk almost to the ropes, Cena releases, pulls Punk back and re-locls the hold on. Punk taps out.

– Winner: Cena

Cena in the ring soaking up the mostly pop from the fans. Cena congratulates Sheamus for being the new WWE Champion. He needed to take a second and apologize to anyone he let down last night. This is hard to understand but sometimes you can try so hard, be so prepared, yet fail. Every time you fail it’s painful, causes sadness and disappointment. He’s said a man’s character is not how he celebrates a victory but by what he does when his back’s against a wall. Not matter how great the set back, how severe the failure, you never give up. You pick yourself up, brush yourself off and push forward. That’s what he believes. So, there are those so offended by his actions that they might have lost faith in him. He respects their decision to do so. He’s not talking to them, he’s talking to them who believe, who still stand in his corner. They’ve not given up on him and he won’t give up on them! WWE Universe is all he has, it’s his everything. He’s not going to say he’s going to work harder, do more, spend more time in the gym, not possible! What he will say is what happened at TLC won’t happen again! His road to WM starts right now! Everybody, he won’t be stopped, he can’t be stopped! Want a headline for WWE.com? He won’t lose a match until he becomes Champion!

– Commercial

Miller says during the commercial breaks they show what the wrestlers do for the troops and it’s great. He introduces ’The Show’ HHH. HHH out in DX gear. Big pop for HHH. He thanks Dennis Milburn for that great introduction. Obviously ripping on Miller for calling him ‘The Show’. He says it looks like the DX Army is here. They will be defending tonight. In the mean time, are you ready? ARE YOU READY to find out the 2009 Match of The Year. The nominees are – WM25 HBK versus Taker, BP Cena versus Orton (I Quit), Extreme Rules Jeff Hardy versus Edge, BR Team RAW versus Team SD! WM 25! HBK comes out all grins, and should be for that was a kick ass match! HHH says if you haven’t seen this match, get the WM25 DVD. He knows as he had to follow it and didn’t stand a chance. “HBK” chants. He says he’s had the fortune of winning this Award for two years. He defeated Flair at WM2008. He didn’t break Taker’s streak but is very proud of what they accomplished that night and thank you all. HBK’s about to leave and stops. “HBK” chants. He says to Taker, that he can beat him! He knows it, Taker knows it. Right here tonight he’s throwing out the challenge. Them at WM, one more time! HBK leaves the stage.

– Commercial

Taker out to the ring, without a hat on his head! Orton out to face him. Orton waves away the smoke as he walks the stage to the ramp.

Orton jumps on Taker with a side headlock. Shoulder block drops Orton. Arm hold on Orton and slams him down. Taker up for old school but Orton flings him down. Orton stomps Taker. Punches to Taker. They exchange blows. Taker takes control. Taker gets Orton up and drops him snake eyes into the corner. Big boot in what Cole calls ‘vintage Undertaker’. Leg drop to Orton for two. Taker sets up for a chokeslam but Orton kicks out and clotheslines Taker from the ring. Taker lands on his feet and then grabs Orton’s ankles. Orton gets pulled out and punches on Orton. Orton laid out on the apron. Taker drops his leg. Striker asks Cole if he does ‘vintage’ twice in one match. Cole says he tries not to, but he does some times. Taker turns to find Cody and Ted coming at him. They back off when Taker walks at them. Taker watches them but walks into an RKO on the floor. The ref counts them, but Orton gets in just before the ten. Orton won due to count out.

– Winner: Orton

Legacy roll Taker in and start attacking him. He sits up, grabs both throats and chokeslams them from the ring. Taker ducks Orton and then chokeslams him to the mat. The ref flees quickly. Taker glares down at Legacy. Orton’s face down on the mat while Legacy backs up the ramp. Taker up the ramp, the smoke is back. Up on the stage the fist in the air, then Taker leaves.

– Commercial

Miller says we’re two hours into our 17 hour extravaganza. Vince gave him comedy notes earlier, he’s not sure he could have gone on without them. Vince comes out to the podium. Vince is all smirks and so is Miller. Vince says a few months ago he had a vision to have a guest host for each RAW. Some hosts have been better than others. He looks over at Miller. Miller laughs. Vince asks what’s the matter with the fans there. He’s wondering if they passed away before they went on the air tonight? He says it’s a lousy night. The nominees for Guest Host of The Year are – Bob Barker, Seth Green, Shaq and The Osbournes. The winner is Bob Barker. People aren’t thrilled. He’s on video thanking everyone for voting him Guest Host of The Year and selling a lot of copies of his book and his foundation thank them as well. He thanks Vince and says the wrestlers and everyone were great and it’s a wonderful experience. Go for it. Vince asks Miller if he was to go for it and pick a guest host, who would it be? Franken? Palin? Howard Finkel? Miller says he’d go outside the realm of politics and how about a favorite of his and maybe it could be Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart. Vince says last time Bret was in the WWE Bret screwed Bret. He doesn’t think he’d be interested in doing that. Miller asks the fans and they go wild! Vince stomps off and Miller says the people have spoken.

– Commercial

Backstage Miller’s on the phone and Jericho comes in. Miller gets off the phone. Jericho says he brings a lot of things to the table in WWE. He thanks Miller for the respect. He could cancel the rematch but hasn’t. He says this whiny little interaction they’re having there is part of a much bigger problem of every little guy thinking the world revolves around him, coming in to pitch his precious little case. He doesn’t think of the fact that when he sits home Jericho is an energy black hole who sucks everything out of the show. It’s like Kanye showing up at a Taylor Swift fan club meeting. This is why he’s decided to keep the match, he wants that agenda put in its palce. That place is anywhere but Monday Night RAW. Jericho says he’ll prove everyone wrong. Miller gets back on the phone and says it’s Jericho whining again.

DX out to the ring. Video of Jericho on Big Show’s shoulders at TLC, but HBK hit sweet chin music and then HHH holds one side of a ladder for HBK to climb and get the belt above the ring. Jeri-Show out to the ring for their rematch. They might not have belts, but they each have their Slammys in hand. Cole says that Hornswoggle said DX has a mandatory court appearance next week.

Jericho and HHH start the match. HHH stops Jericho and speaks to the ref. HBK in on his hands and knees behind the ref. the ref falls back and calls for the bell. Jeri-Show win by DQ. DX is still Tag Team Champions! HBK grabs a mic and asks HHH what he’s doing! He cost him the match and they lost! The titles don’t change hands and their still Champions, but he did cost them the match. HHH says he screwed up and cost them the match and the winner’s prize money. HBK says there goes Christmas! HHH says it’s terrible. And that was Jericho’s one rematch in his rematch clause. He gets no more shots, he’s done! HBK says it’s got to be horrible to be him! Technically he shouldn’t be in a RAW ring. If you think about it, Jericho’s trespassing. HHH says if there was only a group of Superstars who hate Jericho as much as DX does and will join with DX for one night to remove Jericho from RAW for good. DX music and out comes Hurricane, R-Truth, Cryme Tyme, Finlay, Shelton, Primo and Christian! Finlay grabbed Jericho’s ankle and then HBK hit sweet chin music on Jericho. Jericho slides from the ring and then realizes he’s out of the ring and RAW. HBK says bye to him. The DX Army bully him from the ring. Chops by Cryme Tyme. Jericho tries to run through them but gets nowhere. Jericho screams about them being nothing without them. HBK says there he goes, Chris Jericho. He’s out of there. The fans go WIILD! HBK says if you’re not down with that, we have two words for ya…

Backstage they continue to bully Jericho through the area and out a door, locking it behind him. Luckily they’re in Corpus Christi and not Detroit or Jericho would be frozen!

– Commercial

Carlito out to the podium. Followed by Eve in flowing swirly blue, purple and white gown and Masters behind her. Masters takes off his suit jacket and says he’s ready. Carlito says this is for Extreme Moment of The Year. Also described as an exciting moment, a hellacious moment, devastating… but Masters is bouncing his pec. Carlito says they can be described as unforgettable. Masters starts bouncing again. Carlito says awe inspiring, but then screams at Masters to stop it! Carlito says he can do it too. Carlito asks Eve if she can do it too. She says it’s interesting because Carlito will never find out. The nominees are – Kofi getting the drop on Orton at MSG, Big Show throws Cena into the search light, Jeff Hardy diving off that huge ladder and HHH invading Orton’s home. Eve says the winner is Jeff Hardy at SS! Matt comes out to accept! He hugs Eve and to the podium. He says it’s really cool. First and foremost he’s very honored and thanks you. Carlito says if Matt didn’t win, why’s he accepting? Matt says it’s for his brother. He’s home watching this and I’m sure he’s very… Carlito punches Matt to the stage. Carlito accepts on behalf of himself. He wants to accept Jesus, the academy, Jacob and everyone’s favorite place, Puerto Rico and himself. Masters locks on the masterlock. Matt punches Carlito to the stage. Masters shakes Matt’s hand and takes the Slammy graciously.

– Commercial

King, Cole and Striker talk up Superstar of The Year. Then they go to Ted DiBiase’s new movie and show clips.

The Miz out to the ring. Zack Ryder out to tag with him. Drew McIntyre out to tag also. Cole copped to his huge mistake last night when Drew won! He said a little nine year old fan and her mother brought it to his attention that he screwed up. Morrison out to the ring. Yoshi Tatsu out to join him. Then Mark Henry comes out and Striker says something about him cruising the ring for Kood Aid (so it’s not just the fans who are laughing about Henry’s bad new ring gear)! (We think they should let Henry smash through a wall, just once!) King says Henry just joined computer dating and they matched him up with Detroit. Striker asked if it was Jdate!

Henry and Miz start. They taunt and distract Henry in the corner and Miz attacks from behind. Henry head butts Miz to the mat. Miz high above Henry’s head and dropped to the mat. Arm bar on Miz and Morrison tags in. Morrison climbs and flies into that arm. Russian leg sweep. Morrison flips to splash for two. Cole then calls Morrison McIntyre and talks about his athleticism in that move. Miz hit’s a punch and tags in Drew. Morrison hard on Drew. Morrison stomps Drew hard. Drew flees to his corner and Zack tags in. Zack demands Totsu. Totsu in and shoulder blocks Zack. Some chain wrestling and they stop. Zack talks smack doing his woo woo woo. Kick to the back of Zack’s head and he pins for three!

– Winners: Morrison, Henry & Totsu

They celebrate in the ring. Video of Zack taunting Totsu and getting nailed for it.

Backstage the Bellas, Melina, Mickie, Kelly, Maria and Kim all walk arm in arm in gowns.

– Commercial

For a 7 on 7 Diva Match, out comes the Bellas, Melina, Mickie, Maria, Kelly and Kim all come to the ring together. Michelle’s music and out comes Michelle, Layla, Rosa, Natalya, Beth, Maryse and Fox, all in gowns too.

All the Divas in the ring and they start pushing and fighting. The ref in the middle is all confused. Finally he gains some control. Rosa after Mickie and then slams her to the mat by her hair. Rosa on Mickie slamming her head to the mat, holding both sides of her hair. Rosa bitch slaps Mickie who punches back. Mickie into a corner and hits a hurricanrana on Rosa. Mickie’s sick DDT and she pins for three.

– Winners: Mickie, et al

The face Divas celebrate in the ring.

Then Goldust’s music with MVP in tow? They go to the podium to announce Diva of The Year as voted by the WWE Universe. Goldust thinks he should take it himself. The girls don’t like that. Then Goldust tells them not to be so sensitive. They have MVP on the stage and PMS in the ring. MVP knows that wasn’t a good thing to say! A couple of Divas are pissed. Goldust says he’ll show himself out and leaves. MVP says the Slammy goes to Maria who looks honestly shocked. She comes up to the stage, slapping hands the whole way. She gets up there, takes it and thanks everyone for voting. She says they’re all awesome and thanks for their support. Batista’s suddenly there and says he’s accepting for Screwjob of The Year because he should have won last night and should be up for Superstar of The Year tonight. Batista says it’s not about her, or the fans, it’s about him! He should be WHC. He got robbed last night. A couple cops come out and escort Batista in his pink polo shirt with the popped collar from the stage.

– Commercial

Miller announces Washington and Atlas out. Big Dick comes dancing out with them. Atlas keeps laughing at Big Dick who also has the giggles. Washington’s not impressed with Atlas’ laughter. Washington keeps trying to talk and can’t. he says certain moments defy explanation. These moments make you say oh my. Big Dick puts on reading glasses and turns into the intelligent and well spoken man he really is and says throughout history, we as performers take pride in providing moments of frivolity that will live through the annals of time and live in the minds and hearts forever. Hence forth it’s time for the Oh My Moment of The Year nominees – Masters and his amazing dancing pecs, HBK show why the customer’s always wrong, vintage Cole when he barfs from booze and Santino’s Thanksgiving. The Slammy goes to Cole’s vomit! Cole about humps King in his excitement! Cole runs up the ramp and hugs Big Dick and everyone else. He says he put in a lot of years of training for that scene. All due respect to his mentor the legendary JR, slobberknocker and my God are passe. It’s a new era, the era of vintage and oh my. Forget Boomer Sooner, Hook ‘em Horns! Cole runs back down. Miller comes out and says he has to leave because after seeing Big Dick he has to take his eyes out with a power drill. He runs down and gives the Oh My envelope to a kid and then runs back up and talks up the troops before leaving.

– Commercial

Backstage is DX they promo their merchandise. HBK says he didn’t procrastinate this year. He set up the MITB ring 11 days ahead of time. The kids will be thrilled. HHH falls into it and breaks it. HBK starts stuttering and freaking. HHH has him sit and offers him a blanket. HBK says his arms will be cold. HHH pulls out the DX Snuggie! HHH shows HBK how it works, then they sit to watch the History of the WHC! HBK does a spit take when he sees himself being beaten up, again. Then Hornswoggle is there with gifts for them. They open to find wweshop card. You can put money on them and buy anything you want. HHH says because Hornswoggle bought them gifts, he’s not off the hook. HHH tells HBK to get him. They both dive all over and HBK ends up getting beaten up by HHH while Hornswoggle laughs at them. HHH realizes it and flees. Hornswoggle comes back and puts a Santa hat on HBK and crotch chops before fleeing. HBK whimpers Happy Holidays.

Orton out to the ring.

– Commercial

Cena out to face Orton.

Orton slammed into one corner after another then whipped and a suplex for two. Kicks to Orton’s gut. “Cena” chants from a very young crowd. Cena slams Orton to the mat then drops an elbow for another two. Cena whips Orton but then is pushed off his bulldog. Cena rolls from the ring as Orton shakes it off. Orton out and grabs Cena. Cena into the ring post face first. Cena sent into the ring, Orton in and pins for two. Orton rakes his boot laces on Cena’s head and then stomps Cena. Huge heat for Orton. More stomps on Cena. Punches to Cena’s head. Stomping Cena in a corner. “Cena” chants. Orton gets Cena up, but he gets free and hits his bulldog. Cena climbs and hits his leg drop to the back of Orton’s head for two. Vintage Orton as he hit’s a backbreaker on Cena. Orton covers for two. Orton punches Cena in the head. My feed starts getting sketchy here – sorry! Orton goes for a punt on Cena’s head, but Cena moves out of the way. Cena manages to hit the AA for three.

– Winner: Cena

Sheamus out. Cena and Sheamus yell at each other a bit, but nothing more. My feed cuts out, but this means Cena wins Superstar of The Year and won the first match after he says he won’t lose any until he’s Champ again.

Biggest pop
DX
Kofi
Cena

Biggest heat
Orton / Legacy
Jericho
Sheamus